And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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