there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
