You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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