Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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