just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
