Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize