i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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