Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
