i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
