he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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