Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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