Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic