Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.