I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Everything about him screamed your future.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
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Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"