Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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