she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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