i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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