ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
