I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You need Xanax blowdarts
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
