Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
