Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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