Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
