hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
