I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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