like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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