god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
