You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
