Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize