Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
