I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize