some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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