I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
