After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
