Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just had sex bonerless
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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