I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
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That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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