Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize