I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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