Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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