walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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