your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There's always time for handjobs
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
