The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
