Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
