So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
