OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
