How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
