I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Found your dick twin last night
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
