Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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