fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize