hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
