i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
