how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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