I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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