Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
