Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The air taste purple.
Randomize
