Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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