He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
