and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
