You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
