Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize