He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
