I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we have pet lesbian snakes
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
